Reflections on Money and Leadership

Petit - Money and Leadership (oy)

Petit - Money and Leadership (oy)

by Heather Petit -
Number of replies: 2

Oy because I'm clearly not completely coordinated yet (just cleared to start work again Tuesday, not tracking schedules well yet). 

My earliest memory about money is an older sister trading me my dimes for her nickels because nickels were bigger. I was probably two and a half years old. The next sister up came up behind the sneaking-my-money sister and laid into her for cheating me, and I listened to them argue about whether or not it mattered if I understood whether I was being cheated or if it was okay because I wanted the bigger coins. Meanwhile, I wanted the shinier coins, which were the dimes, and was only really playing along with the trading as a way to be engaged with that sister (who was a favorite). I liked the shiny, but I liked the relationship interaction more. I was also pissed off that I was being cheated, and talked about like I couldn't hear them. 

Between 7 and 15, the messages about money shifted dramatically. We were financially insecure (adjunct prof salary), and my step-dad had zero money sense at all - for example, buying a used Porche with the money reserved for paying the mortgage on the house. For several months of mortgage. And then refusing to return the car. Money was scarce, and having a poverty mindset was definitely a thing for us kids, especially when we were also food insecure at times as well (mortgage came before food). After my mom divorced my step-dad, we moved, and then my mom remarried, and we had sufficient money. Not excess, but enough. Money then became a mechanism and a proxy, a tool for accomplishing things. It had always been that for my mom, something to be put to work, but now with a more financially restrained spouse, her practical financial mindset came to the fore. I still retained some anxiety from that first stage for a while, though.  

As a leader, I tend to tilt much more toward the practical use - what does it do, not what does it mean or how does it feel. The challenge is that so many people are working from enmeshed emotional positions with money, I can get frustrated when someone panics over a money issue. It's money, it matters, yes, and I have enough recall of the anxiety I started out with to be able to grasp that space if I need to. But it's annoying to me. I'd rather people all just chill out about it, and I can't just make them. Staying sensitive to that without bowing to it will be required. 


In reply to Heather Petit

Re: Petit - Money and Leadership (oy)

by Zoe Dheedene -
1. I really enjoyed your story about the nickels and dimes. It is unsurprising to me to know that the factor of the "highest value" in this scenario was the relationship. I think this approach is generally an asset in leadership, but I also think it's one to be approached with caution. I've seen business owners allow their investments to be destroyed for the sake of relationships, even when it hurts every other relationship around them. I've seen churches continue to support really financially draining outreach programs that they know to be ineffective (and more than a little white savior-y) for the sake of relationships. I certainly don't think your actions as a 2 1/2 year old indicate that you are destined for any of these mistakes, but it's what came to mind when reading so I figured I'd share.


2. Your experiences with poverty are sure to give you insight when ministering to those in need, and watching your step father seems to have given you quite a bit of perspective. I have lived in poverty and sometimes it has been largely because of my own irresponsible spending. It would have been a real gift to be able to discuss those issues with a leader who understood and was able to offer guidance without harsh judgement.

I hope you're feeling better!

In reply to Heather Petit

Re: Petit - Money and Leadership (oy)

by Deleted user -

Heather its sounds like your sister was friends with my older brother. I got the same kind of raw deal. I also grew up in a home where ends weren't necessarily meeting but they were close enough to wave at each other. There were no discussions regarding money and how finances work. I'm grateful that even though we didn't have much money, we had everything we needed.