Really interesting quote, Betsy. And super post.
Have you read Henri Nouwen's "The Wounded Healer?" It is filled with insights about how to lead from places of vulnerability. And with wisdom about the consequences of what happens when we lead by loosing (not losing, but "making loose") control. You are absolutely correct that this style of leadership can be messy. And I agree with you that this is the way to move into our own humanity and also to help others live into their own.