Shuba, in your first couple of sentences, you articulate that putting a name to something indicates it as a problem and suddenly thrusts you into the realm of 'it is broke, let us fix it.' This realm is polar and one you seemingly wish to avoid. I believe you are trying to postpone judgement of others, remain open and think, which indicates a desire to create space to contemplate. Your ability to apologize is certainly worth noting and links to your mindfulness of others. Altogether, your comments appear to me as though Henri Nouwen's description of silence has impacted your self-awareness.