Discussion for Week 8

Heidi Bracken Week 8 - Stay in the Canoe and Keep Paddling

Heidi Bracken Week 8 - Stay in the Canoe and Keep Paddling

by Deleted user -
Number of replies: 1

I think I was truly most inspired by the article Stay in the Canoe and Keep Paddling. The concept of not giving up even when things are tough is a concept that is not lived out by to many people in society today. This concept goes against the common concept that most people live by today which is if things get tough then you can walk away and decide to throw in the towel. In this article Hendrix discusses how to stay in the process and how to stay present even in the toughest situations. Hendrix found that his answer to all of the questions of what today if........ was "stay in the process". This particular article focuses on marital relations but this concept would do well to be applied to all relationships and for that matter to all circumstances of life. I was intrigued by the example Hendrix gives of two people in a canoe paddling and no matter what problems arise both people must continue to paddle because if one quits the canoe could tip over and both people would get wet. Mirroring, validating and empathizing are key parts to the dialogue process according to Hendrix. This only makes sense because if you mirror during dialogue then the person speaking knows they are being heard, if you validate that you recognize their point of view or feelings this would naturally deescalate the frustration, anger or hurt feelings and if you empathize with the person then they feel valued and understood. I found this article not only interesting but very inspiring and encouraging. I have always tried to stay present in life's trials and tribulations and do my best not to give up. Now I can apply Hendrix's  concept of the Process of Imago Dialogue. Imagine how the divorce rates and violence would decrease if we could live out this concept.

In reply to Deleted user

Re: Heidi Bracken Week 8 - Stay in the Canoe and Keep Paddling

by Michael Panzarella -

Heidi,


I want to agree with you.  Hendrix makes good points regarding staying the course: "Whatever comes up in a relationship should be responded to with the dialogue process."  Upon continuing dialogue, Hendrix says his: "You will "understand" his/her point of view, even though you may disagree with it."  This is an important concept within conversation to be certain one is not in the conversation merely to persuade the other person to his/her singular point of view, but rather also to truly understand the other person.

With lots of reflection on this article though, I believe Hendrix makes a bold statement: "The process is the solution to everything in a relationship.". He supports this line in that a relationship can go from "dangerous to safe."  Here, Hendrix makes me take a difficult look a extreme cases and what type of message is being delivered.  Is Hendrix supporting the idea that an individual in a severely dangerous situation 'remain in the canoe' with a potentially harmful person?  Dialogue could be maintained with physical separation for safety, but the analogy of close-quarter physical location in a canoe may encourage a risky unfolding of this process.