As I read the article Stay in the canoe and keep paddling, I was expecting to read about perseverance, diligence, seeing things through until the end, or conflict resolution. Instead, I found an article on dialogue process and how we should maintain the process as a norm so that we would be good at it when a situation arrives that would otherwise cause us to become defensive and polarized. What stood out was the statement that all frustration is rooted in our childhood, not a concept/theory that I would have imagined as being the cause of failed relationships for all people that become frustrated. While I agree that we should stay in the process, I don't think that asking about your childhood feelings when frustrated will get the empathetic understanding or bonding needed to solve the issue, I think it would take me down one rabbit hole after another.
Hi Charlotte, I have to agree with you about the childhood part. I tried to picture having a conversation and hearing, "You seem so frustrated. What happened in your childhood to cause that?" I would not be happy to go down memory lane with this person. I would just get defensive. A) None of your business and B) What are you, my therapist? Plus, it would force me to think more and go to an area that I don't want to go, and that I don't necessarily want to share with that person. Painful. And while I was most intrigued by this article, and posted about it, I wouldn't necessarily try all of the tactics recommended, or perhaps I would try to do them in a way that seems more comfortable for me. For instance, the "Is there more?" part. The same phrase over and over again? I don't know about that. I might say it a little differently each time.
Yeah Beth, I have to agree. It all just seemed very irritating and probably would not elicit a very positive outcome.